So- my teenage cousin started her blog and wrote a brilliant piece on transition- from school to college, on friends and relations and career and future !
And the lazy writer in me finally got enough energy to get up and respond.
It amazes me to see kids today - classic Aunty Line I know - lose touch and drift away from friends whom they swore they couldn't do without. I mean , there was THAT time - again classic AL - when we had no means to keep in touch. No phones. No internet. No WTF - hey hey I mean WhatsApp Twitter and Facebook- yet we somehow managed to plod along all these years and still be together. My #BFF - I hope I am using it right coz I really don't get the hashtags to be honest - is still my BFF and the Fs I gathered along the way will be F now that I am more matured ( like an expensive wine bottle of course ) .
We wrote letters I remember. And our parents kept in touch with each other for our sake. The bonds we formed were not the ones where we had to share every minute of every day with each other. We could go for years not talking and yet pick up from where we left off. The insecurity which social media brought into relations - friend relatives whatever - is tremendous.
-You saw my message and didn't respond !! (sad emoji)
- I tell you I saw the double ticks - in blue colour nonetheless ! (outrage or sad or smirk - what should I convey (thinking emoji ))
-You didn't like my status - what kind of a friend are you ! (the one with air coming out of nostril??) --You have time to change your DP but no time to type out a hi ! ( Maybe the all teeth showing embarrassed one? !!)
These are some most common forms.
Keeping up a relationship becomes a strain rather than a pleasure. Gone is the absolute confidence in your friend that no matter how many years go buy and how many friends she gathers - your place remains yours and will not be taken over ever.
Of course these things should and do get better with time. We do see some names and numbers travelling across every smart phone we possess and make it till the end safely. But some simply fade away - not for the lack of opportunity but becoz.. well just becoz.
And I must add - not only the pressure of maintaining relations but also the pressure of breaking them off is tremendous.
Now you just don't decide - ok this is it boss! You go your way and I mine. This is the end of all that was between us.
No sir ! Coz you are Facebook friends or friends with Facebook friends or common Google circle or WhatsApp friends or snapchat Instagram and so on and so forth.
What's the harm in checking what's happening their end.
A little peek at the status.
Picture.
Last seen.
And before you know it you are the quintessential peeping Tom - of course you put it down to healthy curiosity and not at all stalking.
And even though you no longer care or give a crap - still its disconcerting to see someone going on with their life without you ! that too Happily !!! ( definitely the air nostril emoji !)
Not to mention the enormous need to show off how happy you are in return by putting up selfies and status which practically radiate your success - even if the actual you sulks somewhere.
Don't misunderstand.
I am all in for the social media. It has made keeping in touch so much easier. Miles are no longer a hindrance with all this budding technology. I can chat with my #BFF ( that's right hashtag - eat your heart out ) whether I am in Chennai or in Chicago without any difference. But the catch is to form the tethers first which hold on for a lifetime.
So let me use a typical AL again and say- I feel bad for most of the now gen - not generalizing really- but maybe generalizing a bit .
Whatever they do - they cannot just cannot have THAT confidence we had in our #BFFs becoz ours held together without means !
Not to belittle any friendship any over time.
But we had it best - made the ties minus tech and kept them strong with !
Come on ! We are getting old. Let us have this at least :-P !!
And the lazy writer in me finally got enough energy to get up and respond.
It amazes me to see kids today - classic Aunty Line I know - lose touch and drift away from friends whom they swore they couldn't do without. I mean , there was THAT time - again classic AL - when we had no means to keep in touch. No phones. No internet. No WTF - hey hey I mean WhatsApp Twitter and Facebook- yet we somehow managed to plod along all these years and still be together. My #BFF - I hope I am using it right coz I really don't get the hashtags to be honest - is still my BFF and the Fs I gathered along the way will be F now that I am more matured ( like an expensive wine bottle of course ) .
We wrote letters I remember. And our parents kept in touch with each other for our sake. The bonds we formed were not the ones where we had to share every minute of every day with each other. We could go for years not talking and yet pick up from where we left off. The insecurity which social media brought into relations - friend relatives whatever - is tremendous.
-You saw my message and didn't respond !! (sad emoji)
- I tell you I saw the double ticks - in blue colour nonetheless ! (outrage or sad or smirk - what should I convey (thinking emoji ))
-You didn't like my status - what kind of a friend are you ! (the one with air coming out of nostril??) --You have time to change your DP but no time to type out a hi ! ( Maybe the all teeth showing embarrassed one? !!)
These are some most common forms.
Keeping up a relationship becomes a strain rather than a pleasure. Gone is the absolute confidence in your friend that no matter how many years go buy and how many friends she gathers - your place remains yours and will not be taken over ever.
Of course these things should and do get better with time. We do see some names and numbers travelling across every smart phone we possess and make it till the end safely. But some simply fade away - not for the lack of opportunity but becoz.. well just becoz.
And I must add - not only the pressure of maintaining relations but also the pressure of breaking them off is tremendous.
Now you just don't decide - ok this is it boss! You go your way and I mine. This is the end of all that was between us.
No sir ! Coz you are Facebook friends or friends with Facebook friends or common Google circle or WhatsApp friends or snapchat Instagram and so on and so forth.
What's the harm in checking what's happening their end.
A little peek at the status.
Picture.
Last seen.
And before you know it you are the quintessential peeping Tom - of course you put it down to healthy curiosity and not at all stalking.
And even though you no longer care or give a crap - still its disconcerting to see someone going on with their life without you ! that too Happily !!! ( definitely the air nostril emoji !)
Not to mention the enormous need to show off how happy you are in return by putting up selfies and status which practically radiate your success - even if the actual you sulks somewhere.
Don't misunderstand.
I am all in for the social media. It has made keeping in touch so much easier. Miles are no longer a hindrance with all this budding technology. I can chat with my #BFF ( that's right hashtag - eat your heart out ) whether I am in Chennai or in Chicago without any difference. But the catch is to form the tethers first which hold on for a lifetime.
So let me use a typical AL again and say- I feel bad for most of the now gen - not generalizing really- but maybe generalizing a bit .
Whatever they do - they cannot just cannot have THAT confidence we had in our #BFFs becoz ours held together without means !
Not to belittle any friendship any over time.
But we had it best - made the ties minus tech and kept them strong with !
Come on ! We are getting old. Let us have this at least :-P !!
You have 3 friends at home too :P !
ReplyDeleteSure ! Who is this :-)?
DeleteGood one Anitha.....Sooooo you. Keep writing gal.
ReplyDelete