"Yes yes.. mamma will give you sweety", my friend crooned to her 3 year old. It was her son's birthday and she had put together a party and as all kids - he was totaly cranky at his own party. I watched as Vidya rushed to the kitchen trying to find her son's favourite glass to give him water. Her place was jam packed with people.

She was working with a leading IT company and she had really struggled to make it home on time for this party. The whole day too had gone by for her trying to juggle work and making invitation calls to her various relatives for the big party. It was already 7:30 and everyone had come and the cake still hadn't arrived. Vivek was supposed to pick it up on the way back home and he hadnt even started yet. She wondered just when it would finally come and they would cut it and the party would get over and everyone would go home and she would ... whew!! finally rest her feet. Just thinking about it made her head spin. She had round about 9 permanent members in her posh 3 bedroom apartment. Having married her first cousin, she had her parents , her brother in law, her grandma (also Vivek's of course) and her 2 uncles staying with them. Every day was one big party for her as she tried to satisfy so many people's whims and still tried to take out some time for them as a family.

I watched her, running from place to place and trying to get things just right and I thought of the Vidya I knew years back.

I and Vidya had been classmates 9 years back when we had both come to Trichy to do our post graduate. I still remember my first impression of her - whirlwind ! Thats what came to mind. Small structured, bob cut hair, a fitting salwar, perky eyes and a mouth that never stopped smiling. That was Vidya. There wasn't a single person in the college who didn't know her. She was smart, funny and fun to be with.

Flowing water - you can admire it and even think you got a taste but when you try to hold it in your hands it slips through your fingers. That was how she was - like flowing water. No one knew what made her tick - what made her cry or laugh for that matter. She was your best friend without you being hers. Enigma at the same time so simple it took your breath away.

And she had a vision for a life. Where she would be allowed to fly. Where she would have her own independence. For being an only child - she had been cossetted in the bossom of her huge family and not let out much. But any fun thing and Vidya was game to try it. Such a "filled with life" personality that anyone would perk up in her company.

And there was one who had the privilege of being that close to her. Of knowing her inside out. Knowing what lay deep in her heart. And he loved her- heart and soul. Love they say is just a feeling - you have to feel it- with these two it was tangible. You could reach out and touch it. And her life with him would have been.. Well who is to say what it would have been.
For, when push came to shove, and it was time to tie the knot- Vidya tied the biggest knot - tied her whole family in one box and put a bow on it. Her parents couldn't have been happier when she quietly went and married Vivek - her own cousin. Vivek loved her - no doubt - to know her was to love her. And she was flexible enough to shove all of her past aside and put all her energy into making the future of her choosing - bloom.

And Vivek - probably he never realised what he got. Taking Vidya and her love for granted he is a completely happy man till date. What you never know you never worry about - and so Vivek never worries or even thinks about how his life would have been had Vidya not been a part of it. How close he came to losing her and just how much of a sense of duty she must have had to pull her off all she desired and into something which is today sapping all of her energy - he could never even hazard a guess.

I watched Vidya as her mother came and stood near me. "I thought I made the right choice for my girl with Vivek - thought she would be more happy than ever and will go settle abroad and have her own life. I spent my entire life looking after everyone and being taken for granted. Now I am old and cannot do it anymore. Still I am pushing myself as much as I can for the sake of my girl. But it hurts to see that she is going down the same path I trod upon - following in my foot steps. Devoting all she has to care for the same people I have cared for all these years. My baby - and I cannot do anything for her. I just tell myself she is happy and leave it at that. But it is an empty consolation" , she wiped off a tear and hurried off to help Vidya. And I thought yet again - how parents always think they know best. How they manipulate us into doing what they KNOW is the right thing and how we always come under their emotional pressure  ( I really dont want to use the word blackmail here ) and do it. And then comes a day when they look sadly and think to themselves how it would have been better to actually let go of their children to make their own lives, take their own decisions, and just be there as a support for them and not force them into the narrow roads which they felt were the best.
Mmmmm.... Must read this again and again as Somesh grows up !